Back In The Mountains

if it’s not one thing it’s another
Last year was the first thing, really. He was the first thing. And you know what she did? She went on to another, and another, and another. She’s starting to wonder – how many another is it going to take? Every another is an open door, beckoning – maybe this will make her happy.
She’s waiting for another to pass her by, and the another she was afraid to hold on to is always on her mind.
She’s got a restless soul, restless heart, restless spirit, she needs to shake her thoughts across the places she’s been, watch them fall like snowy raindrops, the rivulets of what’s been troubling her reflected across the sky
As she riffs off a song she knows in her head
she’s a shadow in the crowd, she dissolves in sunshine, she dissolves in the light
fight, fight –
beats her broken heart. She’s afraid to end, she’s afraid to start.
She’s afraid to look at the stars because the first thing and the last thing she wants
is to look at them with him.
The thing about stars – they never change. She changes every day more than the cash register at a liquor store. Liquor? Yes please.
She usually breathes the stars in through her lungs, digests the light and watches the vapor starlight spill from her nose.
Now she only glances at the dancing shards, her skyward eyes afraid they’ll tell her
she’s dong this all wrong.
Their silver trailed patterns spell hope. Lately, all she’s been able to spell is
she misses you.